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Slapgate


Their king and queen saw the guillotine, but the president can take one for the team. Charlatan follows France’s shrewd improv from the Fall of Atlanticism, to the rise of a savvy new global Sovereign Citizen.

1 JUNE 2025

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President Emmanuel Macron aboard Cotam Unité

French President Emmanuel Macron drew us into the ether this week with a video of First Lady Brigitte Macron’s Muay Thai-like palm strike and finger jab to the eyes whilst disembarking into a trio of state visits in Southeast Asia. Vietnam, Indonesia and Singapore are colluding with France amidst a U.S. shakeup of global initiatives and partnerships. Macron digresses: “So there’s a video showing me joking and teasing my wife, and somehow that becomes a sort of geo-planetary catastrophe?”

The Élysée initially denied the incident aboard the presidential aircraft Cotam Unité, but when Macron swiftly acknowledged the footage was authentic the palace reacted. “The couple were merely bickering,” the Élysée restated, once again misreading the charade entirely. Macron stepped onto the tarmac at Noi Bai as the EU’s #1 most-followed leader on TikTok; into strategic partnerships in Southeast Asia; and kissed the ring of Asia who come 2040 will be the very epicenter of the world economy.

Forget that Brigitte Macron, née Auzière, was once a 39-year-old high school teacher, and 15-year old Emmanuel Macron’s drama coach. They married 15 years on, but often lost in sensationalist headlines is their own strategic partnership to one day rule France. “We spoke about everything,” Macron recalls meeting Auzière at Lycée La Providence, a Catholic high school in Amiens. “We were perfectly aligned.”

After their wedding, Brigitte Macron abruptly quit her job as a drama and English teacher to become Emmanuel’s political consultant. Macron meets and becomes a staffer to Francois Hollande in 2010; is named deputy secretary-general of the Élysée in 2012; Minister of Economics in 2014; forms a political movement and political party called En Marche in 2016; and shifts the nation center-left to a “Renaissance” of sorts when elected President of France in 2017. His government collapses in 2024; he spirals into chaos following a vote of no confidence; and with war in the east and tariffs from the west there is but one last chance of deliverance for France.

Atlanticism — a political, economic, and military pact between North America and Europe — was set into motion with the 1948 Foreign Assistance Act (Marshall Plan) which gave $133 billion in today’s money to the recovery of Western Europe. The UK went bankrupt following WWII, after which the US dollar became the world’s reserve currency. A transnational military alliance of 32 member states ensued, and their ‘One for all, all for one’ mentality requires each and all to pony up 2% of their GDP into the common defense kitty. They don’t, and that along with Europe’s tariffs on the United States seems to have caught the ire of the current occupant of the White House.

Retaliatory tariffs ensued, but on Wednesday the U.S. Court of International Trade declared Trump 2.0’s 'Liberation Day' tariff policies invalid. “The president's invocation of the International Emergency Economic Powers Act to impose comprehensive tariffs based on trade deficits was an overreach of authority,” the court wrote. A federal appeals court stayed the tariffs temporarily en route to the High Court.

PBS News Hour’s Amna Nawaz chats up Kevin O’Leary on Thursday about the acronym coming out of Stanford TACO (Trump Always Chickens Out). “He's flip-flopped, postponed or reversed course at least 21 times so far. You know the man. Is this negotiation tactic or chaos?” O’Leary replies, “focus on the signal, not the noise.”

A Harvard executive fellow and millionaire regular on “Shark Tank,” Mr. Wonderful says the smart money is on policy, not rhetoric. “The courts are telling you through these decisions that not so fast, Baba Looey. I think we're going to get kind of to a reciprocal 10 percent. That's my own assumption. I'm investing that way. And, so far, the markets have rewarded me for taking the long view.”


Not so fast, Baba Looey. The smart money is on 10%



Strategic Autonomy — Europe’s independence from U.S. foreign policies — will require Europe’s 748 million consumers with a combined GDP of $28 trillion not to merely salvage the world’s second largest economy, but rather to lead by example a world where three separate and distinctive economic markets now beckon to a discerning shopper.

Is America’s Vision for the future: ‘One World, Three Powers?’ Recent statements and actions in Washington suggest the United States, China and Russia each dominate their sphere of influence. Perhaps ‘One World, Three Economies’ is more apropos? How democratic, communist, and mixed governments connect the world relies solely and exclusively on the sovereign consumer. Few grasp the gravity of their own purchasing power as the movers and shakers of capitalist, command, and mixed economies.

Macron’s state visit to Vietnam, a communist state, is the first by a French president in nearly a decade. While the two nations share a bilateral tie called a Strategic Partnership, whats unique is how Vietnam’s command economy jives with France’s mixed economy, which includes elements of both capitalism and state intervention.

Macron’s visit saw the signing of agreements totaling $10.2 billion, with a focus on defense, transport, and nuclear energy. VietJet ordered 20 additional Airbus A330 wide-body aircraft. Cooperation on nuclear energy was agreed; deals related to defense industry and cooperation were signed, and cybersecurity, anti-terrorism and climate initiatives were enhanced. The visit is part of Macron's broader strategy to enhance France's influence in Southeast Asia, and present a mixed economy as a reliable alternative to the tension between US capitalist and Chinese command economies.

Macron continued on Wednesday to Indonesia, a mixed economy, which includes elements of both capitalism and state intervention. Indonesia is currently the top purchaser of French military equipment in Southeast Asia, and Jakarta’s outstanding order for 42 new Rafale jet fighters from the French defense manufacturer Dassault is worth an estimated at $8 billion.

Macron rounded up the trip in Singapore, a capitalist economy, commemorating 60 years of diplomatic relations. On Friday, he addressed the Shangri-la Dialogue, Asia's premier defense and security conference, and as the first European leader ever to do so said, “What is at stake in Ukraine and Gaza and Taiwan is our common credibility. Either we believe in the territorial integrity and sovereignty of people or we don’t. No double standards.” Singapore is the only non-NATO country with a military presence in France and therein lies a signal. A rules-based global order no longer dominated by superpowers.

A Consumer Queen, as was, is known for her expertise in couponing, exploiting a clearance rack, and being a practical, intentional, and tactical shopper. In 2017, Brigitte Macron, political consultant, evinced in the first of many stories that Emmanuel Macron was using her to cover his homosexual relationship with the head of Radio France. That she remained by his side during blistering attacks to his character; speculations that she is transgender; and even the ongoing discussion about their age difference and origin of their relationship created as planned a brand. Now in the twilight of their presidency, they’re focused on Europe.

Two weeks ago, Macron embarked with German chancellor Friedrich Merz, and British prime minister Keir Starmer, to Kyiv Ukraine by train. A video, here again, shows a tissue on the table before them, and a post describing it as a “bag of cocaine.” The Élysée somewhat out of the loop replies: “When European unity becomes inconvenient, disinformation goes so far as to make a simple tissue look like drugs. This fake news is being spread by France’s enemies, both abroad and at home. We must remain vigilant against manipulation.”

So in his final soundbite from Southeast Asia, Macron, greedily, took one last swipe at the Open Mic. “If you look at the international agenda of the president of the French Republic — from Kyiv to Tirana to Hanoi — there are people who have watched these videos incessantly believing that I shared a bag of cocaine; that I had a ‘mano a mano’ with a Turkish president; and that right now I’m having a fight with my transgender wife. None of this is true,” Macron told reporters on Saturday. “So everyone needs to calm down and focus on the real news.”

The news, dear readers, as it happens, was that three of the world’s most distinctive economies became closer this week due to one very discerning shopper. Relying less on a $4.4 million dollar global advertising scheme, and more on our inner Consumer Queen, the customer is always king who decides if companies like Walmart, 80% of whose merchandise comes from China, gets to survive or thrive in a world where every single purchase we make now matters. Sadly, what we buy or where and why has always relied on a story.


Make sense of the week's news. Charlatan reviews the world's show & message.


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